Urban Explorer

~ My little sister is the new Hall of Fame Queen ... I am so proud!!!
~ The Cavs lost to the Magics, It was rough but we had an amazing season! :-) I CANT WAIT till they start playing again!
~ Tarot, Tarot, Tarot
~ Chris and I have been given the responsibility to take care of Abbys Chinchilla, Lola, while she is busy this summer.
~ Ouija fun with my buds!!!
~ Dinner with Rin and Ash!!! :-) was a blast! Chris came to meet Rin at the end. Perfect night!
~ Harry Potter opening soon!
~ African ghost lady
~ Becky and James are an Item! YAY! hahahaha
~ The library is getting ready for summer reading!!! That means we are gonna be swamped! Im going to maybe get to learn desk!
~ The Indians are sucking BUT somehow only 6 1/2 games down!!! THAT IS SO WEIRD!
~ Fantasy baseball team with mah daddio!
~ Growing peas and cucumbers in my back yard! They are growing crazy!
~ I am just the luckiest/ happiest person in the world!

   So thats the jist of my life for the past month or so!  I am so happy and still! after 4 years so in love with Chris!  Last night we popped a cork (aka a mikes hard) haha and drank to us... super romantic evening... Mwahahaha. *ding* I'll leave the details out! but it was a very wonderful us evening. Its funny because even though we arent living together we are basically living together! Welp, were off to El' Camps for the BEST mexican food EVAAAAAHH!!!!! With the best Hubby Evaaaaahhh *nom nom nom*

THIS GAME WAS AMAZING!!! I AM A WITNESS TO THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE NBA!!!! LETS GO CAVS!!! MVP MVP!!! LBJ!!!

I just dont want to forget this, Im writing it down for me.

There are sometimes when I lose just a little self confidence dealing with how we got where we are now. So many things could have ebbed the fine line between where we are and what could have happened. But were together. Ive never doubted he was the one I was ment to be with.. but there are moments like this that add another layer of concrete to our foundation. I know this because sometimes Chris with or without knowing says the things that get me though hard times and make me laugh through good ones, and sometimes even laugh through hard ones. Tonight, when I needed it most he added one extra word to his before bed letter.

I love you forever.



What a wonderful man.


And with that, I go to bed smiling. Confidence back in tact.
All worries gone.


Thank you hunny, for always knowing the right thing to say. For being you, and making me smile. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have you. I love you.

"Glub Glub Glub." it boils.
What is that noise? I quickly turn my head and survey the area around me. In the distance the remains lay dormant as the battle inside me rages. Oh why couldn't I be like that green plate. Empty and calm. I man the front lines. Ducking. Protecting my fallen Army.

"BOOM" an explosion of biblical preportions. The ground quakes. The troops fall as I struggle to keep myself on my own two feet. I now know the fatal mistake i should have predicted. A pill. The pill to which could have stopped this massacre from happening. I should have taken it and this pain unleashed could have saved me from this torment. In the distance my best friend falls. Esophagus lays their motionless. I run to help her.

"Its all your fault!" she screams as the enemy brings in flamethrowers and unleashes them upon Chest, the weakest of the group... always feels the pain before the rest of us.

"Why didnt you take the pill, you could have saved us!" the flamethrowers spew a deadly flame. Esophagus goes limp.

"Nooooo!" I wail " Damn them... how could they unleash it" I cry. The toughest of us all intestine joins my side.

"What happened" intestine shivers as she looks at the remains of Esophagus.

I shade my eyes surveying the land and respond with the words intestine knows is the worst news around..."Heart burn".

The sun sets. I am ready. Tonight will be the final stand.

I burp.

Damn Greek Food


Fin.

Goodness! haha... goodness. Its 2 am and Im up! This would usually be a usual event but not when I have work at 8... bah. I hate when you know you have to sleep... so your body decides to screw you over so the next day will be hard! haha. My body is so anxious for the next couple days mainly because they exude equal amounts of fun and torment in a minimal time.
  
The fun? Well that is easy. Sunday - Monday = spending time on a lake cruzing around and skiing with my loving family on a boat! FUN! Spending quality time with my baby and just relaxing. Then Tuesday will be filled with even more fun. Chris and I are venturing down to Cedar Point! Ah I cant wait! It will be a lot of fun! I even promised to ride the top thrill dragster which evidently isnt even that bad from what I hear but Im getting some pretty sweet things If i ride it. Piece of cake! right? ok maybe not haha! But I cant wait!  So what is the torment? The other side of the family is over for the week... *sigh* that means cousins and aunts and all. Dads side = awesome, Moms side = drama. But it will be alright my cousins are awesome. I almost laughed at my lil cousin evan yesterday... he totaly didnt want to spend time with my littler cousin thomas...That reminds me of me when i was his age. haha ah well.

I just finished watching the opening ceremonies of the olympics. It kicked all kinds of ass. I dont even know how to start.... or how much money must have went into it but I cant wait to re-watch it sooner or later.

Nana is amazing, but so realistic i cant read too much without putting it down out of pain. haha i need to get through it tho. I need to. Its a love hate thing I guess. HATCHI x NOBU BEHBE! altho takumi is warming up to me I still dont like him!

Other than that everything is going good, Ive been busy as hell tho recently... well for the past month. And Im hoping things will calm down sooner? Were ordering Chris's guitar tomorrow.  And even better! Out 3 year anniversary is coming up on the 17th. i cant beleive its already been three years! I am so happy! I didnt think it was possible to still get butterflies, but I do. He has turned into a love greater than I think eather of us could have predicted. Hes my best friend. Hes the love of my life. I cant wait to start living with him soon! As soon as that room opens at heather we are so moving! Ah Life is amazing! We are planning on going back to the graveyard where I took pictures of him the third time we got together. Fall air, a beautiful view, a kiss, and a shiney button. Hes at work now :-(  As he says "making money for us"
good lord i love to be in love.

haha we were laughing about that chinless wonder crack from 3 years ago as well.

hahahaha <---the last laugh

... shoot the moon and miss completly. Ahh nora jones is the perfect soundtrack to summer. haha Well summer has already come in like a lion. I dont know what it is about summer days but they make me always feel nostalgic. I dont know if its because its where the most memories happen. I guess its encredibly hard to feel sentimental when your freezing your ass off. or studying for a test. But theres something about it that always brings me back. Summer has already started out good. Spending time with becky has been a blast. I dont know what Id do without her. She listens to my issues with psycos I just love a good friend to get giddy with about stupid things. And lately the things we have been getting giddy about have been anything but stupid. tee hee. life has been treating us both very good.
   I am officially excited beyond all excitement. The apartment is sceduald for August!!!! YAYYY!! I probably already rattled off the list of things we have so far but for my sake ima remember again:

Haves: Big screen, 2 couches and a chair, plates bowls and chopsticks, 3 bar stools, a bed and box spring, a dresser.

Needs: Lamps, Towels, mattress, trash cans, something to put vidio games & movies in & manga in, something for chris's gigantic music collection, a table and chairs.

    I am so excited to move out into my own place with my dream hubby! Chris and I dicided that we would split the 2 bedroom apartment into a family room with our vgames and awesome couches, bedroom of course, and the last room would be used for our two loves. 1/2 the room is the paint room and the other half is guitar heaven. I actually really want to get these guitar holders that they have at guitar center. You just screw them onto the wall and poof! your guitar hangs there for whenever you want it. It would look really cool and be convenient for Chris to display his loves.
    Speaking of Chris and guitars thats what Im getting him for his birthday. The outlaw guitar with bullet guitar knobs, and original floyd rose. I think if i would have told that to my self 3 years ago when we started dating I would be like... what the hell is a floyd rose. But thanks to chris I know a great deal about guitars now. But Im not as good as where I see a guitar on tv for a split second with the brand name blured out ... like he does.
    Actually this is turning into a rant about chris so Im going to let it go mush and flowers and lovey dovey kisses and all and hope that I dont get booed of the stage for making everyone puke. But right now I dont care. Things are going so well. If this isnt my peak of happiness in life, and I know its not, my peak happiness is going to be so exstravigant my heart wont be able to take it! Heres my life as it stands right now. I wake up every morning at around 5 to Chris and we talk about how our night have been. Which even tho its early pushes my day in the right direction. What better thing could I wake up to. He asks me to wake him up after work. So I skip over and kiss him awake then we have a wonderful day! Ahh I just want to know how its been 3 years and Im still head over heals. We never run out of conversation, I think we could go to the dentist together and have a good time, and just seeing one of his many smiles makes me light up so much my head might catch fire. I love him and everything about him. I love everything about him. I even love when hes upset, because now I know the perfect cure to make him smile again. I love his nitches, when he plays guitar and asks me to listen to his new rift, I love the way he talks about a show or a movie and exsplains the whole thing, I love his goofy nature and how hes honest, I love how I can trust him with a secret even thought I cant keep one to save my life, I love how he really is my other half. So many times I find we have opposite standing ground on things. But it seems the important things in life we are standing in the same place. I think if we were a meal together we would be too spicey and too sweet but together a perfect taste. He is my best friend. My soul mate. The love of my life. I am just so lucky to have found him so early in my life, because without him I dont know what I would have done. I still shudder at the thought that If I hadnt left my keys at the ferrells house non of this would be possible, I wouldnt have strolled back in embarassed and he wouldnt have lead me out , hands on shoulders, and ended up talking for well over an hour. Where would I be? Well it happened and I thank god that it did. I am truley in debt. Because life is good. ahhh *falls onto a marsh mellow cloud of love*

haha ok ok *bottle flys by head* Thats all I just had to get some of that love talk out of my system! trust me there is more where that came from! uhg. Well anyway. Today is going to be grand! Waking Chris up at 4, then hanging out with Daddio tonight! YAY. and finally cause Chris had the last 2 fridays off *thank you Erin!* and Daddio was out of town. Ooo speaking of daddio! Heres the Californian Vacation were going on near Christmas!


Hotel de Coronado
We are staying here for 3-4 days Its right off the beach! Chris and I luckily both got these days off! I wish we could stay here the whole time. I love the beach.
then we are going to....

Rancho Las Palmas
Ah This looks so pretty! I cant wait. This is in the dessert and has a lazy river!

wooo!!! Well I better get going! I need to get to work then wake Chris up! YAY!

Life is good!

 

      Ah Well I'm going to try to get an entry in while Chris is konked out on my bed.  Well Life has been good, and life has been bad. I'm really disapointed that I cant be in the art syrcus this year. I have one art event every year..well for the past year... It took me a day to realize that my sisters graduation party started at the same time... same day. blah. I was really fed up with it. But Chris cheered me up afterwards.  He told me to wait a year and work on some really amazing paintings. I really got inspiered. I realized over these past few weeks I haven't been painting because Its become frustrating, getting everything out, getting canvas, paint, water, and I cant leave my art out for more than a day before my mom is bitching "clean up the basement its too messy" But come august Chris and I will have our own paint/guitar room... hence My paint will never be put away. I can walk on in anytime and just start painting, it will be our house so I can leave whatever I want out. I cant wait but Im trying not to get too excited in case we need to move the date back for any reason. I dont want to give my hopes up yet. But it looks like things are set. Chris is getting excited too. And he doesnt really get excited for something unless he Knows its gonna happen. I'm excited but Im not showin baby.

umm.. my stocks in Canadian coal doubled. thats exciting!

    Lesse, what else... Chris is getting a raise! and Im on the job hunt again. I wish I could quit the library. Its the worst job ever. I mean its a good job but its so repetitive. I wish It would go away... far away. But for now I need to make money how I can. But Id rather make it painting. I decided I am going to try and make a career out of painting. Of course on the side at first but Im sick of saying I wish i could paint for a living. Heck Im going to do it! or at least try. I'm excited for this summer tho. I get to see old friends again. and I can finally stop pretending like im doing homework. Seriously its harder to pretend than to actually do it.  Ah pandora is the shit.

My list of new favorites found on pandora

Pedro the Lion - options   
Death Cab - Summer skin
Ben Folds - Brick
The Fray - Vienna
Fly Leaf - all songs
stained - right here
fire fly- serenity
Fiona Apple - Across the universe

Check these suckers out. Totally worth it! Well my baby and I are off to a wonderful day of fishing, dropping off tickets at Tami's house, and being cuddle bums.

     
          Hell yea! Get ready for the new and improved Amanda Collection 2007! I cant wait to get started! Chris accompanied me to the best store known to Heku! Pat Catans, Every art supply is always 20X cheaper than any other store I know. I love going there and finding quality paint brushes for 1 dollar! We picked up about 9 canvases  for around 40 dollars and I mean these things are huge! I am very happy it was a steal! This week starts my art again, The art Syrcus is really really far away! but this year Im planning on doing a theam, and what better theam than Urban Exploration! Its starting to become the answer to everything... Make a website about anything: Oh no problem ill do urban exploring! This summer is going to be our best yet. Becky, Chris, and I are planning on going to many different places, Rosewood prison is first on the list. Seems a little more dangerous than the rest but its gonna be a lot of fun. I think we are going to go on more but right now thats the Kick Off event. I CANT WAIT. Break and seeing Becky was so much fun! It was so nice to spend the weekend with our best friends in our own little house. Go swimming and what not. Chris and I got some quality time and now were back to good ol ohio! Then we got to visit bookie at Jess n Bili's house and watch their doggie and kitties for a night with beck! We had a blast! I miss becky....
   
       Chris and I are also on the verge of something new and exciting! (Other than the August Appartment WHICH I CANT WAIT FOR!!)
We are starting a band! Chris is going to teach me bass! I cant wait! Andy on lead vocals, Chris on what else??? guitar! and brach if he doesnt leave :(. I am really pumped to learn bass, Ive always wanted to learn a string instrument! well... guitar, but could never really understand it, but the moment I picked up the bass I knew I had my new friend. Chris took me to guitar center and bought me a slightly used ESP bass. Its beautiful red, I love it. He also has been adding to my new collection...ugly dolls. It seems they have become my new collection item, i only need one more to go till i have all of Big Toe! I decided to only collect one ugly so i dont  get out of hand. Ive always collected things, Its just something that makes me me! I collected the basics when i was little first penguins, then tamogotchis, Furbys, the Pokemon cards, Yugioh, now Ugly dolls! ah our apartment is gonna look like its ran by a kid. but I cant help it! Its fun! Life is good. I need to find a new job soon. I dont know where I want to work though? So many decisions so little time! ah well. Life is good. I love my man!


Yahoo!

      What are you supposed to do when something so drastic hits you and brings everything you know and want to a stop? I dont know? I thought everything was going so perfect, Two Jobs, apartment in july. graduate in a year. so perfect. but then something so drastic comes along and makes you realize it doesnt matter. Now dont get me wrong Im MORE than excited for the apartment (we pushed it back till august to take off some strain) But when your little sis goes into the hospital for a virus and comes out with Aplastic Anemia, what the hell are you supposed to do. She goes in for her treatment tommarrow. I hugged her so hard before she went to bed and we both cried. She comforted me, I feel like I should have been the one telling her it would be alright. I mean heck! Im the older sister! but she was the one telling me.
       Chris came over today and I only fell to peices once. I talked with my mom earlier and fell apart then. It just hasnt been a good day. Im quitting Panera. I keep getting dicked around. Cutting my hours, and they didnt cut me any slack when I told them my sister is in the hospital for a disease that 3 people in the nation get a year *rolls eyes* ah well.  who cares. its times like these that make you realize a stupid minumum wage job doesnt matter. It really doesn't. Sooo Im quitting. School is hard. I have missed a good deal of my classes and am doomed to fail them. Ive just given up really, for this semestar anyway.(not all im not that much of a bum) But two of my 4 classes Im not going to any more. 1 I dont need to graduate so sayonara! and the other they will take off the scedual this semestar so bai bai anatomy. My other two I dunno. My mom said just pass, companies just look for your grades. I am starting to consider just working at the library anyway for a while. or maybe the greeting card company in Cleavland .
       Well other than that I have been happy Chris has kept me going. Treating me extra special and being very cuddly and holding me when I need him most. We went out last week and are going to akron again this week! Im so excited! He is even flairing my obsession for a collectible stuffed animal I love! He is my strength and without him I dont know what I would be doing. I love him more than anything. I really honestly know he is my future. It is funny to say, but he is the love of my life.
       Im really excited to go see becky in two weeks. I get to see beck alex, and spend time with my love. Were going swimming, playing vidio games, and visiting haunted places. It will be amazing. I am happy.
       I still am excited for Chris and My big apartment, but sometimes you gotta focus on the here and now I guess.

Life is good, Life will get better,
Sometimes its hard but it just keeps us in check.
As my dad says dont sweat the little things... and everything is a little thing.

       Hellooooooo world! I have done a lot of soul searching since the new year. I've been trying to figure out some kind of resolution for the year and until this (or last) week I didn't know what to "resolve". Thanks to the always eye opening advice of my Dad I figured it out. I lie a lot. No no not about everything, just about how I'm feeling. Im tired of pretending I'm a goody two-shoes. Don't get my wrong I love to be nice! Its one of my favorite things to do. But god dammit! I want to be myself! Im sick of being fake to make people happy! Im sick of people wigging out when I cuss!!! FUCK IT! haha I am human. It seems like every time I let sometime slip people go OMG?!??!?! DID YOU JUST CUSS?? and I say yes? does it affend you? and they usually respond by " We didn't knew you swore? so a little rant but I am gonna say what I want to say!
      
         Im also going to be more honest to people. My dad told me about how when he and my mom were still together he would let her walk all over him. He would go with whatever he said, and later when he started speaking his mind she freaked because he just did what she said at the beginning. So he told me to just tell people what you think, In a nice way of course. Im not going to let people throw me around for their own happiness at my exspence. I always get the short end of the stick. Im not gonna lie to my friends when they ask me for advice (dont worry if your a close friend I always tell the truth) but some of my friends are making really idiotic choices in their life. Who knows they might work out, But Im going to tell them how I feel and not give them the soft shelled version to protect their feelings when what I want to say might actually help them.  I know this all sounds very fickle, but Im opening up. Im not gonna be a push over.

          I also want to get a few things out their that Im not going to hide anymore, I am Wiccan ,  I still beleive in God, ( does that make me a christian wiccan)  but I still am starting to practice white magic. Its not anything to be weirded out about. and it doesnt make me any different. In fact its already made me feel a lot better about myself, I meditate and kinda have visions every now and again about stupid things. Like the robinson caruso book insident! haha its awesome! but silly too!  I am very happy! but I was hiding it thinking ooo people are gonna think Im weird... but then It dawned on me, THEY ALREADY DO!

      Chris and I have been amazing. He has really been the most amazing support system Ive had. He has been all of my strength. Valentines day was wonderful, He took me to my favorite resturant Suk Ho Tai (haha suck hoe). And we had a realllllly good dinner. Its always so mouth watering. mmm *gobbles teriaki chicken* then we rented a few movies, I scary one, super bad, and the number 23.  It was a lot of fun. A lot of cuddling with my man. It was wonderful. I fell asleep around 1:30 and had to wallow up to bed. Today we will finish where we left off :) moo haha! I got him a shirt to his new favorite band, and a card and a rose. I am so in love with this man and its been a 2 and a half years! I cant wait for our apartment! WAHOO! we already basically live together! so now its just the added bonus of sleeping together! WHICH IS A BONUS! WOOOO. Its gonna be fun times at the new homestead!

Ok well this was a little long but hell it needed to be said. This stuff has been bundling up inside of me for a long time!
wooo I feel good , I knew that I would,
I FEEL GOOD i knew that I would
So good
so good
I got you  dun dun dun daa!